our blood, our bones, our breath
by anarchx-kestrel
Summary: The battle against the Dark Forest left the Clans shattered. How can they rebuild, when leaf-bare's coming and they don't have enough cats to hunt and patrol their borders? They know something must be done before they lose their way of life forever.


After the screaming of the battle, the silence of the forest raised all the fur along Hollyleaf's back. Her fur was soaked in blood, some of it glowing in the unholy light of the Dark Forest cats, and some of it just plain blood. She wasn't the only one. Around the ThunderClan camp, the living and dead were all in similar states. Even the ground was soaked in blood, cutting the dust that had been kicked up during the first half of the battle but serving as a grim reminder: they had just fought off the sum total of all dead evil Clan cats.

"Leafpool, bring the worst wounded to me." Jayfeather was the first cat to speak, his voice cutting through the air like a claw. "Those who still have energy left, help tend to those worse off."

That seemed to be what cut the tension holding the Clan suspended in time, and Brightheart was the first to cry out.

"Cloudtail!"

Her call echoed off the walls of the hollow and Hollyleaf turned to see her limping across the clearing to where a body lay still, long white fur streaked with blood. All around her, the shock was wearing off and the Clan came alive, their words and movements heavy with grief and exhaustion. Leafpool was bringing Ivypool towards Jayfeather, the younger cat leaning heavily on her cousin. Squirrelflight was picking up Cherrypaw and dragging her towards Jayfeather and Leafpool, away from the body of Molepaw, while Sandstorm walked towards Brightheart, her tail dragging on the ground. Brackenfur was bent over the body of Sorreltail while Lilykit and Seedkit mewled for their mother, tiny voices ringing through the dead air, and Blossomfall was already being seen to by Jayfeather.

It struck her then: this was what was left of ThunderClan. This was the sum total of all cats who had survived the attack, at least of her own Clan.

"Oh, StarClan," she whispered, eyes wide. "They've destroyed our Clan."

No one had the energy to argue, and she stood there, staring at the destruction. There was Briarlight, lying with her throat ripped out where she had been trying to defend the medicine den to the best of her ability. Bumblestripe lay nearby with his eyes clawed out and his belly ripped open, and next to him lay Millie, who had died defending her kits.

All around her, the bodies of her Clanmates lay there, strewn around like branches ripped out of trees during a storm. There was Firestar, his ginger fur standing out near the shadow of the Highledge. There was Dustpelt, and Thornclaw, and Ferncloud, and oh, StarClan, she couldn't handle it. There were too many.

And then she saw him, and then it hit her. Lionblaze. Lionblaze, her invulnerable brother, was dead. How? How had he been killed? He couldn't be hurt!

"Hollyleaf."

Sandstorm's voice broke through the cloud in her head, and she looked at her grandmother, who was gazing at her with gentle green eyes.

"Come get seen by Jayfeather," she said as she lay her tail across Hollyleaf's shoulders. "Your injuries need seen to."

"Lionblaze is dead," she whispered. "My brother is _dead_."

"I know," Sandstorm said. She stepped forward and then circled around Hollyleaf, stopping so close their pelts brushed. It was instinct: Hollyleaf leaned into her, pushing into her side and finding a well of strength from her kin.

They started walking, not needing to speak as they made their way to Jayfeather. At least he was still alive. Leafpool was a capable medicine cat, but who knew what would happen if Hollyleaf had lost _both_ her brothers.

He was seeing to Brightheart now, with the help of Leafpool, splinting the warrior's swollen hind leg. She was still staring in the direction of her mate's body, and Hollyleaf felt a stab of sympathy. Even now, she could still feel her eyes drawn to where Lionblaze lay.

Unprompted, her thoughts turned to the other Clans. How were they managing? Had they fared better? Worse? Had the Dark Forest completely wiped them out?

What if ThunderClan were all that remained?

"Hollyleaf," Leafpool said, bringing her back to the presence. "Can you tell me what your injuries are?" Her voice was filled with a peculiar mixture of relief, fear, and a great sorrow.

"I—" she began and then broke off. She hadn't thought about. Hadn't noticed them.

"That's okay," her mother said, voice soft. And imagine that. She was thinking of her as her mother. "Please sit down, it won't take long to check you over."

Hollyleaf did as she was told and remained there as she was checked over and treated. Nearby, Squirrelflight was pacing back and forth, her eyes alight with energy and a pure rage as she moved. Hollyleaf could almost hear the debate she was having in her head.

"We need to send cats out to hunt and to check on the other Clans, to see how they're faring," she said, stalking up to Sandstorm. "Which cats are the most well off?"

"I can go," Sandstorm said, which was true. She was amazingly lightly injured, her only wounds a shredded ear, a scratch over her eye, and claw marks on her shoulders.

"Blossomfall is okay injury-wise," Jayfeather said, not lifting his head from where he was finishing applying a poultice to one of Brightheart's injuries. "If no one else can, Leafpool could go."

"Hollyleaf's injuries are minor, although she'll have to be careful of this bite on her neck. It could easily reopen and start bleeding," Leafpool added.

Squirrelflight considered for a moment, and then nodded to herself.

"Hollyleaf can go to RiverClan," she said. "Leafpool to WindClan, and Sandstorm to ShadowClan. Blossomfall and I can hunt. Could Ivypool, Brightheart, Brackenfur, or Cherrypaw be able to chew up fresh-kill for Seedkit and Lilykit?"

"Yes," Jayfeather replied, "that could be Brightheart's responsibility until her leg heals. It'll be a few days until it does, and then after that it can be Brackenfur's."

"That sounds good," Squirrelflight said. "Hollyleaf, you and Leafpool can leave together for RiverClan and WindClan as soon as you're done being treated. Sandstorm, you may leave whenever you feel ready."

"Yes, Squirrelstar." Sandstorm's voice was warm with amusement as she was ordered around by her daughter. "I'll go now."

Hollyleaf stumbled as Sandstorm left, but she soon found her balance again. It was cold, and almost lonely without Sandstorm's presence there, but she was surrounded by her Clanmates, however few they were, and so she could never be alone again as long as they were there.

Squirrelflight, meanwhile, was watching Sandstorm go with her face twisted in confusion. "Did she just call me Squirrelstar?"

"Yes." Jayfeather's voice was flat.

"I wouldn't mind having you as a leader," Leafpool added.

"Huh." Squirrelflight shook her head and walked over to where Blossomfall was laying with her chin on her paws. She spoke to her for a few moments, and then Blossomfall stood and the two of them left the camp.

It didn't take long for Leafpool to finish treating Hollyleaf's injuries and she turned to Jayfeather before they left.

"Hollyleaf and I are going now," she said. "We'll be back as soon as we can."

"Take your time." Hollyleaf couldn't tell if he was being serious or not as she followed Leafpool from the camp.

The forest wasn't spared the destruction that took place in the camp. Bracken was flattened, thorns had tufts of fur caught in them, and blood was splattered on the trunks of the trees. Hollyleaf did her best to look away, but it was hard when it was everywhere.

It got better when they crossed the stream onto the moor, but that only lasted until they found the first dead warrior. Whitetail lay abandoned, her mouth hanging open and eyes unseeing. The blood that soaked her fur and the grass around her came from a bite in her throat. Leafpool let out a wordless, hurt sound, and she leaned down to pick up the small warrior's body.

She carried Whitetail all the way to the edge of the camp, where she set the body down and turned to Hollyleaf.

"I'll see you back in ThunderClan," she said, and Hollyleaf nodded.

"Yeah. Of course," she replied. Leafpool picked up Whitetail again while Hollyleaf turned and continued over the moor. She headed for the edge of the lake in order to avoid the horseplace, and as she did, she briefly thought of Smoky and Floss. Someone should tell them what had happened to Daisy and her kits…

She pushed those thoughts out of her head as she made it into the marshy area. She was getting close to RiverClan now. What waited for her there?

More dead cats is what. A mottled grey body she recognized as Pebblefoot lay, hind paws in the stream. He was across the water from her, on the edge of RiverClan camp, and as she crossed on the stepping stones she could hear voices.

Voices. Voices were good, although there weren't many different ones that she could make out. There should be more voices, right? There should be more cats crying out, calling the names of the fallen, screaming out their pain?

She stepped onto the shore and into the camp, and cats fell silent as they caught sight of her.

"Hollyleaf," Mistystar said, shoving herself to her feet. There was a deep scratch under her eye still seeping blood and a long gash on her side that had started scabbing over. "What news do you bring us?"

"The Dark Forest has left," she replied. Her voice sounded far away, like it was someone else using it and forming the words. "We've won… but at a terrible cost."

"Have you lost as many of your warriors as we have?" Petalfur asked, limping forward. Willowshine, oh, thank StarClan Willowshine was still alive, protested, and Petalfur sat down again, staring at Hollyleaf.

"…Yes." It was probably safe to admit that, to a Clan cut down to this size. She could only see a handful of cats—Mistystar, Willowshine, and Petalfur, of course, and nearby, Reedwhisker was laying down, panting with exhaustion. Mossypaw was assisting Willowshine, fetching herbs from the medicine den, and from a den wrapped in thorns, Hollyleaf could hear the shrill cries of scared kits.

"And your medicine cat?" Willowshine asked, looking up from the bite on Petalfur's leg.

"Leafpool and Jayfeather both live." She could hear Willowshine sigh.

Mistystar wore a thoughtful expression as she looked at Hollyleaf. "We'll have a long, hard rebuilding process ahead of us, especially as leaf-bare comes. Go back to your Clan, and help, and we'll see you at the Gathering."

Hollyleaf dipped her head to the RiverClan leader and turned and left. She went back through ShadowClan territory this time, cutting straight across it rather than sticking to the three-tail lengths rule. Something told her that they wouldn't mind.

She arrived back at camp and walked in to see Jayfeather and their mother moving the bodies of their fallen Clanmates.

"Good," Leafpool said, "you're back. We're just waiting on Sandstorm. Squirrelflight took Blossomfall, Brackenfur, and Cherrypaw hunting."

"Hopefully it'll keep them from moping too much," Jayfeather grumbled.

The three cats did the best they could, carrying the bodies of dead Clanmates to the edge of the camp. There were too many to hold vigils for, and they could start digging the graves in the morning. Squirrelflight's patrol returned, carrying enough fresh-kill for everyone including Seedkit and Lilykit. There was one piece left over—Sandstorm had yet to return.

Hollyleaf caught Squirrelflight staring at the entrance of the camp more than once, her green eyes searching. One time, Leafpool walked over to her and guided her back to the job.

They went to sleep near midnight. Ivypool limped out of the warriors' den to sit guard in the middle of the clearing. Hollyleaf's last glimpse of her before withdrawing into the den was of her staring up at the stars, eyes wide, mouth moving as she mouthed the words to a prayer.

The birds woke them in the morning. Hollyleaf stretched the soreness out of her muscles, warmth filling her for a few moments until—

until.

Until the last night came crashing down on her.

Until what happened hit her.

ThunderClan was _decimated_.

Her fur felt too small for her as she stepped out of the den to stare out at the camp, with dead bodies still laying near the entrance to camp. Brackenfur, Cherrypaw, and Blossomfall stood at the thorn barrier for several moments, staring at the bodies, before Blossomfall shook her head and pushed her way through. The rest of her patrol followed her.

"Good, you're up." Hollyleaf turned to see Squirrelflight approaching her. "We're going to start burying them today. That was the hunting patrol that just left. You, me, Jayfeather, and Leafpool, and Sandstorm when she gets back, will be in charge of digging graves."

Hollyleaf nodded, feeling choked up and unable to speak. How could Squirrelflight be so sure Sandstorm would return?

She never voiced that out loud as Leafpool finished checking Ivypool's injuries and then the gravediggers left the camp and got to work. Brightheart was left in camp, watching Seedkit and Lilykit while Ivypool slept.

They were so vulnerable right now, and Hollyleaf kept listening back to camp, one ear turned towards it at all times. She yearned for Dovewing's power, for the ability to hear across territories and the lake and, most of all, back into camp. Perhaps it was a good sign to hear nothing. Surely Brightheart would yowl so loud as to shake the trees if the camp were to be attacked, right?

The four cats had buried Firestar, Graystripe, Sorreltail, Dovewing, Lionblaze, and Cloudtail before Blossomfall's patrol returned, laden with prey. The gravediggers followed them into camp, taking a break to eat.

"The three of us," Squirrelflight used her tail to gesture to herself, Hollyleaf, and Leafpool, "will hunt for the evening. We'll help dig a few more graves and then go."

"What about Sandstorm?" Brightheart asked. Her voice was rough with worry. Seedkit and Lilykit were in the nursery sleeping at the moment, but she had set aside a thrush to feed them later.

"We'll keep an eye out for her," Squirrelflight replied. In a few more bites, she finished her mouse and stood. Blossomfall followed suit, shaking herself as if she needed to wake up. Perhaps she thought it was a dream, and maybe, if she just shook herself hard enough, she could wake up to a ThunderClan who had survived the battle.

The day dragged on, Hollyleaf's paws heavy and dirty and her claws chipped as she dug and dug and dug. It was a relief when Squirrelflight called her and Leafpool away, despite the exhaustion in her limbs.

They walked towards the ShadowClan border, headed towards a grove known for sheltering squirrels. They were almost there when the breeze brought them a familiar scent.

"Sandstorm!" Squirrelflight's whole demeanor seemed to change as she caught sight of her mother slipping through the bracken. "Where have you been?"

"Littlecloud is dead," Sandstorm replied. She sighed and looked down. "I stayed to help as best as I could and left as soon as I could."

Leafpool looked stricken. "That means… ShadowClan is left without a medicine cat."

"Yes." Sandstorm nodded. "That's true."

"Then…" Leafpool looked down, amber eyes filling with resolve. "I have to go to ShadowClan. I have to be their medicine cat, until they have another."

"No!" Squirrelflight cried, taking a step towards her sister. "You can't!"

"I must." Leafpool looked up, looking Squirrelflight in the eyes. "What sort of medicine cat could I be if I left a Clan that needed me, even if they were not my own?"

"You can't go," Squirrelflight repeated, her voice small, and Hollyleaf felt a part of her agree. She had just started to acknowledge her mother. How could she let go of her now?

"I can't no," Leafpool said. She purred, shaky and sad. "I'll see you at the Gatherings. You'll make an amazing leader for ThunderClan, and I will come back, as soon as I train a new medicine cat for them. Perhaps one of their warriors will want to train as one, and I can come back sooner."

"We can only hope," Sandstorm said, looking somber as she stepped forward and touched noses with Leafpool. "Safe travels. May StarClan light your path."

"And may StarClan light yours as well," Leafpool replied. She licked Squirrelflight's cheek and then turned to Hollyleaf. "Stay well."

"Y-you too." Hollyleaf's voice broke as she spoke. A surge of emotion filled her and as Leafpool turned to leave, she rushed forward and pressed herself to her mother's side. "Return soon."

"i'll do my best," Leafpool replied, glancing at her daughter before turning and leaving, the tip of her tail being the last thing Hollyleaf saw as she watched her leave, eyes wide.

**To view the cover full-size, please visit my deviantart (username: kestreldaniel)**

**i am crossposting this on three sites lol (ao3, here, deviantart)**


End file.
